A simple hair tie

Do you ever have that fleeting thought in a given situation, though you'd not tell a soul, "something just isn't right." I've not had too many of those times, but when I have they are always right. A mother's instinct, woman's intuition, gut feeling...whatever it may be, it's almost as if, I believe, God set that there to help ease the load of what is to happen.

Last night, Saturday the 20th, Jared and I went to bed and I had this odd thought as I was pulling my hair out of its ponytail for bed, "I should keep my hair tie on my wrist in case I need it if we go anywhere in the middle of the night."  It was such a random thought it surprised me and almost left me a little lost on why I thought that. I went to bed knowing that the next day would be putting me at 11 weeks pregnant, almost out of the "danger zone" as many call that first trimester. But yet I just couldn't shake the feeling that something wasn't right and to keep that darn hair tie on my wrist.

Fast forward a few hours later, 4am to be exact, when I wake up and have another thought to just go to the bathroom. I looked at my hair tie, put my hair up and off to the bathroom I go only to find I'd begun the difficult process of enduring yet another miscarriage. Waking up Jared I felt panicked yet calm enough to tell him what was happening and begin deciding what to do.  We quickly called my sister-in-law, Leah, to see if she might be able to come over and be with the girls when they woke up. She was to our house and ready to go as if she had been waiting all along, but she's also just awesome like that and always quick on her toes. :) 

Now, let me pause there and give you some back story:  Our first miscarriage, which was 5 years ago this August, was quite literally awful. Our ER experience was awful, the doctors and nurses were very calloused and not exactly the friendliest of people...so that being said, I was not too terribly fond on having to go to the ER.  I even work for a doctor's office and frequently find myself getting upset at even the thought of potentially having to see my own doctor. I've always believed in just leaving sickness/ailments alone and let them run their course, no doctor needed. But this was obviously very different.  

We arrived at the ER and were greeted by some of the sweetest receptionists and triage nurses I've honestly ever encountered. Upon being put into our room, the nurse said many times she was so sorry for our loss and also reassured us that this was not our fault. So at this point we had multiple people in and out, every one of them taking the time to talk with us and genuinely care about what was happening. I was so very blown away by the meaningful dialogue and listening ears we encountered during this stay, I will forever be grateful to that staff for bringing so much peace to us during that time.

Anyway, as you can imagine, tests were run and all the usual stuff that needed to be done to ensure my body was doing what it needed to do in order to heal itself. After those tests came back normal and the doctors felt good enough, I was discharged. Obviously, at this point I was just about starving. So that good ol' husband of mine and I decided to head over to Panera for a bite to eat.  About 10mins into our time at Panera I was sitting at the table across from Jared and felt my sight and hearing begin to go out, my arms became tingly and a severe bout of nausea set in. I'm sure I completely freaked Jared out as he was attempting to wave his arms in front of me and almost have to catch me. So! Back to ER we went!  I was monitored for another couple hours just to ensure my blood pressure didn't plummet like it had at Panera causing the episode. The nurse we had (a guy named Tori) might literally rival even the sweetest midwives I've met during my time of doula-ing. He was absolutely incredible! He was informative, caring, and also so good at lightening a mood.  If you ever meet a male nurse named Tori (not sure of spelling) from Nebraska Medicine, I highly encourage you to thank him for choosing the profession he is in. Because he rocked it!

We left, came straight home and opened the door to a completely cleaned apartment. My sister-in-law is absolutely AMAZING!  And I cannot even begin to express just how thankful I am for her existence in my life, and not just because she cleaned and watched our kids! 

So, why do I type all of this out?  Why give you the details of such an awful experience? Because I am one of those people who has to process everything out in this kind of way. There are times as people we live through experiences and it all seems as if it was just a dream. I often blog and write because it brings experiences in every form back down to earth and allows for the grieving and healing process to take place. I have way too many people in and out of my life who have not taken any time to really process a said experience, and I see what it does to them and how it has affect their life. We are emotional creatures, and that's ok! Learn to embrace that. And emotions can be such a difficult thing to navigate, and that is why I choose to blog/write. My heart learns to accept the grieving instead of stuffing it away and as time allows I begin to heal as I understand what has happened. I also write these blogs to help be an encouragement to others whom have experienced loss. May you take the time to grieve and heal; know there is no time limit on that process. Take comfort in knowing there are many of us out there who have experienced this kind of loss, we can come together and be a village who extends an understanding hand as comfort. Please do not be afraid to let your friends and/or family in, allow them to take some of the burden and just hold you during such a time. Let them take the hair tie, pull your hair back and say, "I'm here. I'm not going anywhere. Let your tears flow, I've got you." 

And as for my own hair tie, it held my hair all day but is currently making my head hurt. Thank you all for taking the time to read and allowing me to grieve and heal. Much love!

The long pursuit

Hello again!
It's been a while since I last wrote on this blog, so I thought I'd take yet another stab at getting back into the routine of blogging.  Especially since I've found that doing so helps me to process all things life! Am I right??

As many of you know by now, already a year in, we've moved back to Omaha for Jared to attend The Pillar Seminary after living in Topeka for about 2 years.  Those two years there were wonderful and definitely full of love and support. We could not have asked for a more peaceful season of life during those two years than we did.  So to those of you from our Topeka family reading this, thank you for the print you have left on mine and my family's life.  You mean more to us than I can even put into words!

Omaha, seminary, work, money, kids....and on the list goes...

I wish so badly I could tell you that this transition has been smooth, peaceful and completely blissful...but I'd be lying if I said that.  It has been quite the journey thus far as we've hit some low points emotionally, spiritually and especially financially. And I can't tell you, honestly, the number of times I've found myself thinking, "is this pursuit of ministry really worth it?  Is this frustration and sometimes pain worth it??"  It is difficult to see those questions even typed out because we've been on this pursuit of ministry for so long that it almost feels like we've nothing to show for it. But yet both Jared and I find ourselves back at the same spot when hashing through those questions realizing that if we were not on this journey, then we would be dead on the inside. I believe God built Jared, myself and our kids for something specific and we cannot stop this pursuit now because it's almost as if we would be giving up a large part of our life. That is how I feel, no matter the pit I'm in or the amount of tension I feel, I know deep down that we can't stop now.  What God is doing in us now could very well be a stepping stone that another person later on might need to hear or spoken into their life.

So we keep rolling. Time and time again we have had friends and family that often come through to help pull us through the tough times and rejoice with us during the joyful times. I have to remind myself that not every bit of the journey in life is going to be this amazing, flying over clouds experience...it takes the valley's and trenches to learn how to gather your footing and develop the skills or gifts for navigating. And right now we're into Jared's second year of three in seminary. I'm so proud of the man he has become already in being back in school. He's focused, determined and quite literally one of the most hardworking people I've ever had the pleasure of knowing. Jared takes on a lot each day and on top of it all makes his faith and family his first priority. While I'm still nervous and anxious about what our future holds after seminary is done, I'm now beginning to get more excited about who we are being shaped to be.

As for me, I'm back at work full time and also doing doula stuff on the side again as well. In the midst of doulaing, I've found a deep curiosity and interest in serving pregnant women in countries where they are less fortunate to have the resources and technology our country has when it comes to pregnancy and birth. Midwifery is essentially where I would absolutely love to end up with all this pregnancy and birth stuff, but I'm still waiting on God to open the door for that.  Until then, I'm continually studying up on everything I can get my hands and serving women and their families as a doula!

The girls are hilariously amazing! Sonja and Harper are almost complete opposites without being different genders, haha!  Sonja is a sponge and learning new things every day, she's recently begin to write letters and loves to do somersaults everywhere. Harper is turning out to be quite the inquisitive little thing.  She enjoys climbing and getting into just about everything. It has been fun to watch the past few months as they've grown more self sufficient and begin to play together more.  That always makes for a happy heart for a mom and dad!

I can't really think of any more to say at this point, but I suppose that's what blogs are for. You know, to bug you a little more with other thoughts or processes.  Before I'm done, let me leave you with this:
If you are someone reading this that's at a point in life where you feel like you've pursued all you can and cannot push any more...ask for help. You've got more in you than you might realize. It's not easy to ask for help, especially living in the culture we do.  But let me reassure you in saying you never know the amount of blessing and/or endurance you receive when just simply asking for help. There are people out there who are rooting for you; rooting for you to continue, battle on and help you past this check point.  You are not alone in the journey, while we're all at different stages, there are always people there to help, but you just have to ask.  That being said, I ask you to help me in praying for each other's lives. Pray, good thoughts..whatever it is you choose to do, please join me in doing so for all those around us.  You just never know the difficult pursuit someone might be on.

Until next time,
  Anna

Seasons of life

Let me first start this blog post out by stating this: I am officially world's worst blogger. If that's even a thing. My last post was over 2 years ago! Oops. Oh well, I'm here now and that's all that matters in the blogging world, right?

Anyway, to catch everyone up to speed in one summary: we again reside in Omaha and have added two to our family! There. All done, see you guys next time! Just kidding, let me get into the guts of this all...let's do this:

Not long after I returned from China (my last post) and Korea, Jared and I moved to Topeka, KS to serve at a wonderful church, Countryside Christian Church. The pastor, Nate, was a long time friend of my family and our initial connection to that particular place. So it was nice to start out that journey having some sort of personal connection. Topeka was really good for Jared and myself, not only because we had two amazing children while there, but I believe it was a season of rest and rejuvenation for us. For those of you meeting this blog for the first time: just before Topeka we had a pretty rough year and a half previous that I had written about a few posts before this one. We made quite the crippling and ripple effect of a decision to quit our jobs without much prayer and in *hopes* that finances would somehow come out of the sky and send us to Chicago then to Salt Lake City. To put it simply: that didn't happen. In fact, we were left crushed in many ways. Then to top it off, I had a miscarriage that same year with my first pregnancy. Needless to say, there was a lot of hurt we experienced. To be honest, some of those wounds are still healing to this day.

But all in all, God placed Topeka and Countryside Christian Church in our lives at the most perfect time. We were surrounded by a loving church family and I was able to begin the journey of doula-ing. If you'd like to know more about that, visit this link: http://ohbabybirthservices.webs.com/apps/blog/

Moving on! So, after almost 2 years in Topeka, God kind of came full-ish circle by placing an opportunity that had once almost been almost 3 years earlier: seminary for Jared! I mentioned Chicago a few paragraphs up; Chicago was almost the location for this seminary to take place, but that actually came crumbling down like the tower of Babel. Chicago was our reason for quitting our jobs in the first place. It was tough, but we found out years later that God was truly protecting us from that because of some other things that had gone down with that, which I won't go into here.

Seminary. Graduate school. In Omaha. Jared. Once this opportunity was presented I knew it'd be one that Jared couldn't refuse, but yet he was extremely prayerful about the whole idea. He knew with our track history of just jumping on the train and trying to move the boxcar ourselves never worked out. So being prayerful about every single angle of this was what we did. We committed to 40 days of prayer solely for this opportunity. One would think, knowing how much Jared and I absolutely love Omaha, that we'd be very excited about moving back and just up and do it. But having two very small children and loving the church we were at, we were hesitant. Myself more so. A lot of my hesitancy was rooted in my doula buisness as I had just become pretty well established and had gotten myself into many connections with great people in the birth world. My name was out there, I was getting quite a few emails and requests...all of which I ended up referring on to other doulas because after our 40 days of prayer, we felt God was telling us to move back to Omaha, NE. And so here we are! Back in Omaha.

We are so very glad to be back. However, it's not been world's easiest transition for us. Doula business has not quite panned out the way I had hoped, but it also doesn't help I was coming from a city where I was one of very few doulas practicing and very spoiled with having a great relationship with two of the more prominent midwives there. Whereas in Omaha, I'm one of MANY doulas. I've also been battling the process of what it would look like for me to go back to school one day to eventually become a midwife myself, and that decision has still not yet been decided. Jared has been so incredible in every way possible. He's worked his butt off to help provide for our family by working 2/3 jobs and now going to school with studies full-time. Seriously, this guy is incredible in every way possible. But now as we've been back for a little while we have realized that God may be changing things up yet again...

 It has been laid on my heart to go back to work after 3+ years of not working, 2 of those being a stay-at-home mom with kids. This was no easy decision...in fact, there were quite a few tears shed the night I told Jared I was being called and wanted to go back to work. Yes, you read that right...I want to go back to work. I like being in the workplace. I thrive being among people in all facets. I enjoy just being in the simple presence of people. That's just how God has wired me and I don't know how else to explain it other in that way. This is not all to say I haven't enjoyed being home with our girls the past couple of years, because I have loved being able to help raise them each day! But as of now, I'm back on the job market. Well, hunting through the job market, that is. If you'd like to know more about this decision, shoot me an email or message and we can talk more extensively.

Well, folks. I think I've pretty much covered the life of us Landt's thus far. To sum up everything, we're still trucking through this valley of life, but I do believe that an uphill is coming soon for the Landt family. I'm not entirely sure what that looks like yet, but I trust God will be revealing that soon. So as we continue on this journey, I would like to ask you, dear reader, to pray for us as we are in the midst of some great and tough change. We would appreciate the prayers, and please know how much we love each and every one of you and the impact you have made on our lives thus far. Until the next post...

Grace and peace,
       Anna

We are Chi-a-nese if you please!

Oh, why hello there folks! It's Anna here.  I'm all showered up, dressed for the day, and have a cute Chinese scarf on for writing out a long blog today....and I've been ready for the day since about 3:30 am.  Can we say jet lagged much?

Today's blog will be all about my trip to China (and a little about our short stop in South Korea as well).  Ready?  Here we go:

Well, let me just first state that traveling that far across the world on plane makes for a quick mess up of your sleep schedule.  Lol!  But hey, we're humans and we learn to adjust.  We took three planes in order to get there: from Omaha to Chicago, Chicago to South Korea, and then South Korea to Beijing.  I've never seen such fatty feet and ankles in my life than I did after our 13 hour flight from Chicago to Korea...it was quite hilarious to be honest!  Anyway, we left on early morning April 19th...and we were already starting out on the tired side.  After many, many hours of traveling we finally got there on Friday the 20th!

We got there at about midnight and all went to bed, hoping to wake up feeling well rested and rejuvenated.  And I would say most of us did that Saturday morning.  So we woke up, ate breakfast and were ready to take on our first project: help with teaching basic English conversational skills, and putting on a talent show.  Hehe!!  The english school was getting ready to start taking applications and new students for their next semester of teaching, so this day (Saturday the 21st) we were basically helping to promote the English school in order to help them maintain the amount of students they needed.  It was really fun actually!  We each got to have our own little group of younger, college aged, Chinese students. Most of them knew little tid bits of english, so conversing with them was only going to help them in their knowledge of keeping up in a conversation in english.  SO!  After we had our group time with students, we went and had lunch together and then started talent show.  We came up with quite a few "talents", and so did many of the Chinese students.  We had a couple of groups put together some stuff to show off, like a group who did a Tai Chi routine, a girl who did belly dancing, and a few others.  My talent, you may ask?  Well, for the special birthday that was there I did something EXTRA talented...I hand-tooted the Happy Birthday song.  I know, I know...I'm quite talented.  :)  Anyway, after the talent show some of us took a walk around the area where the orphanage was located.  We were not quite in Beijing, but I was told they still considered themselves Beijing because city limits were quite spread out.  And actually, Beijing took a good hour to even get to or longer with traffic!  So...this pretty much wraps up our first day in China.  After our walk, we all ate, and then crashed for the night...well, crashed for what hours our body would allow us, lol.

Sunday the 22nd - this was our first sightseeing day: Tiananmen Square and the Forbidden Palace were our two places of sightseeing, and then a little shopping on the side in a market.  It was a pretty fun day, lots of walking, but it kept us awake and going...so it all worked out great.  Two of the girls on our trip, Regan and Candace, both had very blonde hair...which, as most of you know, is a very rare thing in the Chinese culture.  So on our day of sightseeing, many of the Chinese people wanted pictures with them. And some of the people would even just walk up to them and snap pictures, it was pretty funny!  Anywho, the two places we went, the Square and Palace, were both really cool to see.  I've never gone through so many layers of a palace in my life...rough life for the people that use to live there. ;)  After that stuff was done, we headed out to a market to do some bartering and get our souvenirs.  When we first stepped foot into the market they were selling scorpions and sea horses and whatever other bug you could think of on a stick...to eat.  BLEH!  But we have a few in our group brave enough to try.  Surprisingly, they said it tasted pretty good.  lol!  So we did our barter shopping, and then left to go back to where we were staying for fellowship with the staff of the organization of the of the English school and orphanage (also called a foster care).  It was cool to have church with the staff and get to know them a little better as they were welcoming us to China.  That night was an awesome blessing, and also a great opening for us to be a big encouragement for the staff.

Monday the 23rd - The Great Wall of China day!  We were all REALLY looking forward to this day...but what we didn't really know was how much work it was going to be climbing around on that wall.  :S  But regardless, it was fun!  We didn't even climb the whole thing, obviously because it's so huge!  But we did climb an entire side of it...which I would like to say is a pretty big accomplishment considering I was 23 weeks (now 24) along in my pregnancy.  I need to pick up myself an award somewhere.  Just kidding.  Anyway, after a few hours of climbing and taking a bazillion pictures, we left to go eat at a traditional Chinese restaurant.  *Before I get into the food part of this...let me just put here that this was the day that about ruined my stomach for the entire trip.  If you were to ask any Chinese person what their favorite thing was about China, their answer every single time would be: "oh! The food!"  Or, "To eat!".  Because that was LITERALLY their favorite thing...and yet, they're so tiny and in fantastic shape!  I suppose it's probably because their food doesn't have all the junk in it like America does.*
Anyway, we got to this restaurant and there were about 13 of us, and we were definitely hungry...but not for what the rest of the day held for us in food, lol!  We sit at this table, and food is just being ordered and ordered and ordered...next thing I know there are about 18 or 19 plates FULL of food.  If I heard this correctly, it was explained to us that when Chinese are present at a dinner like this (one was) then they order more than needed, just to cover the bases of knowing everyone got to eat.  Lol!  Needless to say...I have NEVER in my LIFE been so stuffed full of food.  And it was fantastic food as well!  We were so spoiled with all this authentic stuff...that I think I'll be too snobby for the stuff that's served here in the states now.  ;)  Maybe not...?  So after this gigantic beast of a meal, we took our stuffed bellies to another market where they sold real pearls for great prices (even lower if you knew how to barter).  So we all did our shopping, then headed back to our little village...where we had some young Chinese students waiting to take us out to eat.  Lol.  So we get back, walk to town and have our try of Donkey.  It was very good!  And I figured since we had told them that's all we wanted to try since we were so full that they understood...but nope!  They started ordering food and ordering MORE food.  I thought I was going to cry trying to stay happy and keep eating...but thank you Lord you've made me a strong conversationalist, because none of them noticed how painful it was to try and stuff ourselves again.  Haha!  It was really a good night to reach out to these students and know them a little better.  For most of those students, it was their last week at the english school, and also the last chance the staff had a chance to really speak into their lives and ask Jesus to shed his light on them.  So it was truly an honor to be asked to be part of this process of reaching out to them in this way.  So despite all the food that was eaten that day, I felt so blessed to be a part of this beautiful piece of the puzzle!
After dinner, we walked back and we all managed to roll ourselves into bed and pray we didn't puke in the middle of the night (for me...I wasn't so fortunate, oh well).

Tuesday 24th - Thursday 26th: These three days were totally and completely filled with serving the staff and their work in any way possible: through service projects, helping with babies/toddlers/preschoolers and helping in the English classes/students.  Each day was started out with a half hour prayer meeting with all of the staff at this orphanage/English school.  In my opinion, starting out a day with your staff like that is one of the best things you could ever do in your walk with the Lord!  I know it helped me in just the few days we were there to listen to everyone pray and feel the blessings they have received already.  And God has definitely blessed that place in many, MANY different ways!  Anyway, after prayer time, we had one of the staff, Brian (in charge of coordinating visiting groups) would assign us to a particular area for whatever hours of the day they needed us.  We all got the chance to be with the foster kids at some point in those three days, some more than others.  I loved being with the kids...but I especially LOVED being around the students from the English school part of this organization.  We usually did English classes with them, or activities.  One of the days we had a Sports Day where we were all broken up into different groups and competed against each other in multiple events.  It was fun!  And not to toot my horn or anything...or maybe a little bit...my team won, the entire thing. :)  First places!  But everyone did fantastic and it was cool to help them use English in this way.
So many of the students would tell us how much they enjoyed being around us and the staff, and a couple of girls had told me one day that they felt a blessing from "the one above" (they couldn't remember the name in English.."God") to be here with all of us.  And it was so wonderful to hear them say such a beautiful thing, I was so touched! So truly, it was amazing to be around these students and see their eagerness to learn a new language, and learn it well.
 This is pretty much what those three last days looked like while being in China.  On our last day there, Thursday, half of us had the chance to go on a field trip with the English students into Beijing.  That was SO much fun!!  Each person from my group split up and went into different groups of the students (they were broken up by class numbers according to their level of English: 1, 2, 3, and 4).  I went with class 1 and quickly found out that we'd have a little different experience with where we were going to eat.  One of the women in the group was a Muslim, so we all decided to eat where she would like to eat.  It was really excited to get to know her a little bit and share stories of life and travel.  She's quite the traveler as well!!  So I was super pumped to learn of her experiences (in what little way she could tell me, lol).  So after our field trip, we got back to the village and had our sad goodbyes.  Even for just a short 8 day trip, we grew close to the people and it made it hard to want to leave.

Thursday (late) night we set off and flew into South Korea - Friday, 27th - We arrived in South Korea, got a shuttle to our hotel from the airport, got our room assignments...freshened up, then all of our group (but one) got into taxi's and headed for downtown Seoul!  It was about an hour drive to downtown, putting us there at roughly 2am-ish.  We walked around and saw the city a bit, went to some vendors, ate some local food, and did some shopping.  It was fun...but also tiring!  At one point we stopped at a place that was just like Burger King or something, and I about had my head hit the table because I fell asleep just sitting there.  Lol!  Anyway, after that we headed for the train station, which would get us back to the airport, then from the airport we'd be shuttled back to our hotel.  Just in time to shower up (or sleep from some), eat a complimentary breakfast (YES!) and then head back to the airport for our 13 hour flight back home!  I got back to the hotel and sat in the huge bathtub for about half an hour...and it was GLORIOUS!  I even prayed while chillin. :)  So, that's about how South Korea went down.  Bam bam bam!  We left South Korea on Friday morning....and then arrived in Chicago on Friday morning.  Weirdest and longest Friday I have ever lived, lol.

So, here I am now.  Back in Omaha and jet lagged worse than I've ever been in my life...but it was totally worth it!  Many of you who know me, know how much I love traveling overseas and seeing/experiencing different cultures.  You also know that I tend to grow very attached to the particular place/and work I've been/done, and begin praying very seriously about whether or not God wants me/us there.  But this trip was different.  I did love being in China and doing the work we did, but God made it very clear to me from the start that this is not where He wanted myself and Jared.  He did use me, I know that for sure, but I was also given peace in knowing that this could be a great long term experience for someone else.  And that is how I've been praying since I've been back: That God would open up the heart for this person(s) who needs to be there to hear Him and His calling.  They are in need of some staff help, and please know...that I am praying for you, whoever you are.  I know I haven't mentioned the name of this place, mostly due not being able to recall if I could mention their name because of safety issues and them being in China, and having this blog publicly posted to the internet.  But if you would like more information about this particular organization, feel free to shoot me an email or message on facebook and I'd gladly tell you more in depth.  Hopefully I can have an answer by then about the name!  If you feel called in any sort of way to helping this organization in their English school, or foster care/adoption, I hope that you will begin praying about that opportunity!

Again, thank you for taking time to read and allowing me to just debrief my trip.  It's nice to see it all in writing and think about it as a whole instead of just day by day.  I appreciate you readers, thank you for all your love and prayers you have offered to Jared and myself.  May God shower you with blessings and open your eyes to His great works!  Grace and peace!

- Anna

Randomocity...whatever that is.

This is literally the 6th time I've tried to write out this particular blog post, lol!  Have you ever partially journaled at one point and then something big happened so you had to write about it, then more things got exciting and you had to write about those...and so on and so on.  That right there, my friends, is what's happening.  Hehe!!  I always get so excited about things God is doing that I just can't ever seem to find the perfect time to write about them...so I'm hoping tonight is a good night to do it!

Before I dive in, baby Landt is doing great!  I'm currently 18 weeks along and haven't had any complications, other than being sick here and there.  But as I've said before, I'd rather go through that sickness than go through the heartache of loosing another baby.  Anyway, if you ask me...I think there's a little girl in there just waiting to be confirmed in 2 weeks.  And Jared actually told me tonight he thought it was a girl too...even though he's hoping for a boy.  :)  Obviously, we're happy either way!

Alright, well...where do I even begin.  It has been quite the ride lately for Jared and myself.  God is always working on our hearts and refining in many different ways.  One of the passions the good Lord has blessed Jared and myself with is a heart for seeing human trafficking eliminated on this earth.  And even typing that out does not quite show you the burden we have in this area.  I hear of things like sex trafficking and child slavery and my heart hurts to a pain that no words can even describe the depth of that pain.  For years I have known God to put a fire on my heart for broken and battered women of this world, foreign and domestic.  For so long I have wanted to be among the women that are victims of sex trafficking and reach to them to let them know that I love them and I want to help.  But there were times I've become so discouraged with the questions, "how do I even help when I'm here in the U.S.?  How do I find it in America?  Can I, one person, really even do anything?".  Those questions, I believe, are a product of Satan and his way of deterring me from even pursuing this passion.  He felt threatened, so of course he'd make me doubt.  So...

It wasn't until this week that I have been so encouraged with this journey, and Jared as well.  But for myself, God spoke and encouraged me through my intensive week class and today's sermon.  Lol!!  Crazy how God works and at the most perfect times.  My intensive week class was called Christian Leadership, and it was literally phenomenal!  Dr. Allan Dunbar was our professor, and let me tell you...I've never met someone so full of wisdom in my life.  He spoke of leadership, obviously, but to realize the things that it takes to become a leader is what really hit me.  I won't even begin to dissect my notes for you from that class on here, but one of the biggest things I took away from this class is how God blesses a person who heavily pursues leadership through Him.  God will develop you and me wherever you are...it's not like you have to go through this detox in order to start the process, the process is always going and God is going to use you wherever you are at, He's going to start on you wherever you are at.

Which brings me to the sermon today in church about serving.  The preacher today talked about how often times we get frustrated when we want to be involved in something, or serve somewhere and we think, "Well, I don't have anything to serve with.  How can I serve this, or be involved in this, when I don't have this or that?".  To which the preacher said, "God will bless what you have to serve with and then bless even more as you begin to open yourself up to serve more."  And I about stood right up and yelled, "YES!!  YOU ARE RIGHT!"  Just because I am one person in this big world, does not mean I can't start somewhere.  And if God is calling you to it, and you follow through...you best believe He'll bless you!  So, with all this mumble jumble, I guess what I'm saying is that I am in pursuit of this passion and where to start and asking for God's blessing in this journey.  

Ok, sorry...I just had to somehow get that all out, and it's probably just all over the place.  But if you knew my personality, then you'd understand how my brain works sometimes.  Just need time to unscramble it all and keep moving forward.  Either way, this life journey is so incredible!  I just love God so much, and I am continually amazed by how He works.  Seriously friends, He is so incredible.  As much as a journey in your life with Christ can hurt, it can also be so exciting, exhilarating and intoxicating that you just can't help but yell: "WOIJWFEKSFLDKJ!!  WOOT!"  Lol.  I don't even know what else to write, but I hope that through the randomness of this post you can be encouraged to dig deep and find that passion God has set on your heart and you just take off with it, and knowing full well that God will bless you.  I will be praying for you this week, readers, that your ears and hearts are open and God shows you the passion and calling he has place on your hearts.  

Until next time!  :)

Just when you thought...

This, my friends, has been the post I have been waiting to write for quite some time now, especially after loosing a beloved baby in August this last year.  I'm sure most of you, by now, will know what I'm talking about when I say I've been excited to write this post...if not, then you'll just have to read this whole thing and wait for the end.  DUH DUH DUUUUH!!! (like the movies, hehe)

Obviously many of you know that 2011 wasn't exactly the easiest of years for Jared and myself.  But our plan for 2012 was to remain faithful and persistent with the here and now and know that God had a plan for us, no matter what.  

  I know for me, Anna, it was hard to think that God would bless us anytime soon with becoming parents.  My thought was since I always hear stories of women who cannot get pregnant for a long time after a miscarriage that this would inevitably happen to us.  But that was not so for Jared and I!  We found out a short while ago that God blessed us again with a new little life that is currently 11 1/2 weeks old and with a good, strong heartbeat...baby Landt!  

To be completely honest with you, when Jared and I first found out, we were really scared.  Lol, in fact, I cried really hard when I saw the little positive sign...I just figured it'd happen all again.  Especially because I was already have a few pains here and there that were similar to the first pregnancy.  My heart hurt so much because I didn't want to go through this again, and I knew that the only way my heart and mind would be at ease was if I prayed.  I didn't want to feel this pain and live in fear of what COULD happen again, but I wanted to feel excited and experience the joy of first finding out that you are expecting.  So that is what I prayed, because God knew I was thinking about it all the time, so why not just say it outloud/journal it?  I mean, c'mon, it's only fair right?  So let me tell you how this specific prayer went down:

  "Hey God,

First off, thank you.  Even though I'm having a hard time saying it because it's hard for me to believe it...but for real, thanks.  So here is what I want to say, I want to be excited.  God, I want to experience the joy of knowing that you have done this beautiful thing of creating a little life inside of me that you are wanting us to raise for you.  I'm asking you this because I know that the only way I will experience a real, like FOR REAL, joy is if I receive it from you.  And only you.  So I would love to have my prayer answered today, is that alright?  Will you please bless little baby with being healthy, and wanting to stay there and see us all alive and vibrant at 40 weeks?  I would certainly love that!   Anyway, I'm not sure what else to say, but I ask that you hear my prayer today.  Thanks for being great.  Love your daughter, Anna Marcelina."  

It was from there on out that God has given both Jared and I peace over what is to come.  No matter what comes in our way, He has reassured us that we serve a God who is bigger than any obstacle or struggle we could ever come across.  And as I have stated before, WE were the ones who signed up for this.  WE were the ones who answered when He called us to be in His family and serve Him no matter what.  Jared and I know that anything could happen with this baby, but we also know we serve a God who is faithful and provides for us.

SO!  Without dragging on any longer...we are happy to say that we are EXCITED!  And pregnant.  Lol!  :)  I am excited for what the rest of this year holds, and the plans God has for Jared and I...as well as baby Landt.  Before I leave you, readers, I would like to ask you to please be praying with us for this pregnancy.  Please pray that the spirit of worry and anxiety will be bound away from us as we continue this journey of preparing to raise a little disciple.  We want to be parents who pray and are strong examples of people who are exceptionally faithful to the God we serve.  Thank you all who have been praying for us already, and giving us encouragement.  It is so appreciated!   Blessings friends!

  (P.S. I think it will be a girl.  HEHE!  Maybe that's just me hoping...)  :)   

New things, new places, and a new year!

2012!!  It's here, AHH!  How do you feel, futuristic and robot-like?  Yeah...me either.  hehe!  Oh well, moving on:
Jared and I cannot even begin to tell you how excited we are that the new year has started.  2011 ended well for us with seeing all our families on Christmas.  It's always awesome to see family over the holidays and be able to catch up with them about life and the such.

One of the many things that God has blessed Jared and I with is the church we are currently attending, Glad Tidings Church.  Being able to attend this church and know how God works in this place has been amazing for us and our own spiritual growth.  It has been amazing to be around a church family who places a strong emphasis on prayer and the way our God works through this powerful tool He blessed us with.  Glad Tidings is doing a month long devotion to prayer challenge called The Live Dead Challenge.  They offered devotional books to everyone who wanted to be part of this challenge.  In these books are given thoughts and things to pray for that particular day for every day in January.  And it has been great to be part of this and learn new ways that we can connect to God and challenge ourselves to be more intentional and intimate with our time with God.

Our cool news for the new year...brace yourselves...: We've found our next place to live!!  YAY!  I cannot even begin to tell you just HOW excited we are!  I mean, we've loved living in the house we're subleasing, but we're ready to have our own place and decorate with our own stuff.  Er..well, I am.  I guess that's not really his cup of tea.  :)  I would also like it to be known that our new place allows DOGS!!  GAH!  We're currently in the process of having our application to be adopters of a dog from The Nebraska Border Collie Rescue.  So exciting!

As many of you know, I (Anna) am committed to going overseas to Beijing, China this year in April.  I am looking forward to this trip, and hoping that all goes well as I prepare for it...especially hoping that my passport can get here in time for the tickets to be ordered!  Jared and I have also decided that we would like to save money over the course of the next year or two to go overseas again and visit my older sister and her family in Central Asia.  We've always wanted to visit friends and/or family who are servants of Jesus and wanting to spread the word across all of the world and we want to be a source of encouragement as well as just simply love on them!

Jared and I have been through some of the hardest time in our lives in 2011, and at times thought we'd never come back and be as strong as we are.  But here we are, stronger than we've ever been and pushing on to what other things may come.  Each of us has a life story, and experiences are always being added into the pages of our lives.  Some being harder than others, but still being part of who we are.  I hope you, reader, have been able to look at the many things that have happened in your life and see them as part of your story.  And you have no idea how your story may touch other lives and the impact you have, it's truly amazing to be touched by another's life story.  So we encourage you to embrace the things that have happened in life because they made up who you are and the person God has made you to be.  Seriously, you are SO cool!

Well, I think that about covers everything that has happened since we last talked...er, since you last read.  Whatever.  We hope the new year has found you well and that God blesses you in every way possible.  Please know how much you mean to us and how much your support means as well!  Stay tuned for our next update...life is always transforming when you've got Jesus involved!