The long pursuit

Hello again!
It's been a while since I last wrote on this blog, so I thought I'd take yet another stab at getting back into the routine of blogging.  Especially since I've found that doing so helps me to process all things life! Am I right??

As many of you know by now, already a year in, we've moved back to Omaha for Jared to attend The Pillar Seminary after living in Topeka for about 2 years.  Those two years there were wonderful and definitely full of love and support. We could not have asked for a more peaceful season of life during those two years than we did.  So to those of you from our Topeka family reading this, thank you for the print you have left on mine and my family's life.  You mean more to us than I can even put into words!

Omaha, seminary, work, money, kids....and on the list goes...

I wish so badly I could tell you that this transition has been smooth, peaceful and completely blissful...but I'd be lying if I said that.  It has been quite the journey thus far as we've hit some low points emotionally, spiritually and especially financially. And I can't tell you, honestly, the number of times I've found myself thinking, "is this pursuit of ministry really worth it?  Is this frustration and sometimes pain worth it??"  It is difficult to see those questions even typed out because we've been on this pursuit of ministry for so long that it almost feels like we've nothing to show for it. But yet both Jared and I find ourselves back at the same spot when hashing through those questions realizing that if we were not on this journey, then we would be dead on the inside. I believe God built Jared, myself and our kids for something specific and we cannot stop this pursuit now because it's almost as if we would be giving up a large part of our life. That is how I feel, no matter the pit I'm in or the amount of tension I feel, I know deep down that we can't stop now.  What God is doing in us now could very well be a stepping stone that another person later on might need to hear or spoken into their life.

So we keep rolling. Time and time again we have had friends and family that often come through to help pull us through the tough times and rejoice with us during the joyful times. I have to remind myself that not every bit of the journey in life is going to be this amazing, flying over clouds experience...it takes the valley's and trenches to learn how to gather your footing and develop the skills or gifts for navigating. And right now we're into Jared's second year of three in seminary. I'm so proud of the man he has become already in being back in school. He's focused, determined and quite literally one of the most hardworking people I've ever had the pleasure of knowing. Jared takes on a lot each day and on top of it all makes his faith and family his first priority. While I'm still nervous and anxious about what our future holds after seminary is done, I'm now beginning to get more excited about who we are being shaped to be.

As for me, I'm back at work full time and also doing doula stuff on the side again as well. In the midst of doulaing, I've found a deep curiosity and interest in serving pregnant women in countries where they are less fortunate to have the resources and technology our country has when it comes to pregnancy and birth. Midwifery is essentially where I would absolutely love to end up with all this pregnancy and birth stuff, but I'm still waiting on God to open the door for that.  Until then, I'm continually studying up on everything I can get my hands and serving women and their families as a doula!

The girls are hilariously amazing! Sonja and Harper are almost complete opposites without being different genders, haha!  Sonja is a sponge and learning new things every day, she's recently begin to write letters and loves to do somersaults everywhere. Harper is turning out to be quite the inquisitive little thing.  She enjoys climbing and getting into just about everything. It has been fun to watch the past few months as they've grown more self sufficient and begin to play together more.  That always makes for a happy heart for a mom and dad!

I can't really think of any more to say at this point, but I suppose that's what blogs are for. You know, to bug you a little more with other thoughts or processes.  Before I'm done, let me leave you with this:
If you are someone reading this that's at a point in life where you feel like you've pursued all you can and cannot push any more...ask for help. You've got more in you than you might realize. It's not easy to ask for help, especially living in the culture we do.  But let me reassure you in saying you never know the amount of blessing and/or endurance you receive when just simply asking for help. There are people out there who are rooting for you; rooting for you to continue, battle on and help you past this check point.  You are not alone in the journey, while we're all at different stages, there are always people there to help, but you just have to ask.  That being said, I ask you to help me in praying for each other's lives. Pray, good thoughts..whatever it is you choose to do, please join me in doing so for all those around us.  You just never know the difficult pursuit someone might be on.

Until next time,
  Anna